I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
