TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
