I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
