I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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