you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
