He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
