I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
