I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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