I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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