just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
