So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
