Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
