i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
