the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
