I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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