I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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