can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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