You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
