Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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