yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
