i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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