sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
