You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
