dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
