Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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