He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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