"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
