I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
