I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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