my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There r osticjed everywhere
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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