my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
one might say we're banned from that church
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
