This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
