I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
