i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
