isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
