Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
