i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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