that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize