I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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