3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
