doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
