i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
