I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
