Do vagina's smell?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
