we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
