I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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