So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize