the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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