Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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