meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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