Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
