The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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