Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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