I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
