Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
