i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
