4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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