I think I died a long time ago.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
