Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
