Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
