I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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