she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
