In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
