Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
