goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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